Relationship Self Tests

Relationship Happiness

Instructions: Fill out every item below, telling us the extent to which AT THIS TIME you agree or disagree with each statement. Circle the choice that reflects how you feel RIGHT NOW.

1. I feel emotionally close to my partner.
   True          False
2. I think that my partner really cares about me.
   True          False
3. I feel confident that we can deal with whatever problems or issues that might arise.
   True          False
4. I would consider myself happy in this relationship.
   True          False
5. I feel respected by my partner.
   True          False
6. I am committed to staying in this relationship.
   True          False
7. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for my partner.
   True          False
8. I find my partner very interesting.
   True          False
9. I feel that my partner finds me physically attractive.
   True          False
10. If I ever needed help I could count on my partner.
    True          False
11. My partner really tries hard to meet my needs.
    True          False
12. My partner really listens to me.
    True          False
13. I am satisfied with our sex life.
    True          False
14. I am confident we can handle any conflict that may arise between us.
    True          False
15. My partner shows pride in my accomplishments.
    True          False
16. I feel appreciated for what I contribute to this relationship.
    True          False
17. I really feel loved in this relationship.
    True          False
18. My partner really knows me well.
    True          False
19. My partner is one of my best friends.
    True          False
20. My partner loves my sense of humor.
    True          False

Flooding

Read each statement and place a check mark in the appropriate TRUE or FALSE box.

1. Our discussions get too heated.
   True          False
2. I have a hard time calming down.
   True          False
3. One of us is going to say something we will regret.
   True          False
4. I think to myself, "Why can't we talk more logically?"
   True          False

Scoring the Relationship Tests

Relationship Happiness: Add up the number of items for which you answered "True." Multiply this number by 5.

If your score and your partner's score is above 80, congratulations! You are reasonably happy in your relationship. You might enjoy enhancing the strengths in your relationship. Otherwise, there is need for some improvement in your relationship.

Flooding: Add up the number of items for which you answered "True." Multiply this number by 20.

If your score or your partner's score is above 40, you have a problem dealing with conflict and self-soothing during conflict. There is need for some improvement in the area of conflict.